


(Nobody's Ever Gonna) Break Your Heart Again

by badjujuboo (miztrezboo)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-15
Updated: 2013-06-15
Packaged: 2017-12-15 01:50:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/843911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miztrezboo/pseuds/badjujuboo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry runs away from Liam and Louis and life in general and sends postcards filled with thoughts. And some he doesn't <strike>can't</strike> send at all.</p><p> </p><p>or the timestamp to <a href="HERE">THE DISTANCE BETWEEN FIRST AND SECOND</a> between chapters five and six.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(Nobody's Ever Gonna) Break Your Heart Again

**Author's Note:**

  * For [robpatFF](https://archiveofourown.org/users/robpatFF/gifts), [mrsyt31](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrsyt31/gifts), [hez_writes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hez_writes/gifts), [RazzleBrazzle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RazzleBrazzle/gifts).



> I've been wanting to write SOMETHING for Distance as a time stamp to celebrate one year since I posted it and one year and a bit more for being in fandom ... and then this happened. BIG LOVE to the ones who make me write ALL THE THINGS ALL THE TIME, Erin and Morgan xoxo
> 
>  **FYI:** the _italics_ font is what he could have/didn't send, the rest is what he did

_I'm sorry. So sorry._

_I wish. I wish I could have stayed. Could have said all the things I wanted to - need to - but I just_

_~~Liam.~~ _

_I miss you already and its been hours._

__________

I'm so sorry. I know I've fucked it all up and I've left you and Liam to deal with it all and I'm sorry, so sorry. I just couldn't do it, Gem. I couldn't look at Louis any more and see the things that were wrong between us and be able to turn around and see exactly what I wanted in someone else. So much has gone on that you don't know about and it's fucked with my head. I'm fucked in the head. I just need some space. Love, Harry.

"why did you run  
from every one  
who only tried to love you"

got this sick eagle done on my back today. not huge, I promise!

H xx

_How hurt Louis looked is haunting my dreams. Then I wake up and the bird who runs this B and B, her son has eyes just like yours, Li. These soulful eyes that seem to read me so well and he just looks at me across the table at breakfast and it hurts. I left you to deal with all that shit back there and Louis probably hates you and you probably even hate me but._

_Maybe you'll understand why one day. Maybe you'll get see why I had to leave. It wasn't fair to you or to Louis and it's probably even worse now but._

_I had to do this. Had to._

__________

Can't sleep. The countryside is so quiet. I miss Corrie. I miss grey skies. I miss.  
'

I can't sleep.

 

H xx

_It hasn't stopped raining for days and it shouldn't remind me of home because home is so cold with the rain and here its oppressive and you can't. I can't escape it. Escape you. Escape this mess. You should have said something. All those years. That time when Lou and I broke it off and I stayed with you. Slept in your bed with you. And you said nothing I'm so angry at you, Liam. So fucking pissed at you that sometimes I can't breathe. I hate the way you've made me feel. I hate it._

__________

Watched this dubbed version of Ten Things I Hate About You Today. Made me think of that poster you had on your wall of Heath. And how I went looking in your drawers once to see if you had black underwear. Might have shown them to Will and the lads... Soz about that Gems! Love you. Miss you. Harry xo

"somebody caught up to your brother, he's calling out your name...  
you were fucked up by the blame."

My iPod has frozen on this all week. I'm sorry, Gem. You're dealing with everything and I'm. I'm here.

India is insane. the heat, the people, the food. . . insane. H xx

_there's something about standing in the shadow of a mountain like this that puts everything in perspective. I get it now. I can see how you tried to tell me, and I was never listening - not proper. I was so wound up in what I thought made me happy - caught up in keeping everyone else happy thinking if they were I would be that I didnt see it. I couldn't see it. You've always, always been there for me. More than anyone else and I love you. I love you for all that you've done and all that you're doing but I can't. I can't come home. Not yet._

_Not yet._

__________

The airs so thin here it's better than any high. H x.

_Mum's been gone a year today and I've stayed in bed all day. I'm so close, closer than I have been since I left to where I started from. From you. From everything I left behind. From everyone. I miss her so much and it hurts - its the worst thing I've ever felt and I just. I want to erase everything that happened. Why can't time turners be real, Li? Why can't Hermione fucking Granger turn up here in fucking Moscow and flip that gold thing and take me back to before I figured out I didn't want to marry Louis. Or further, to when I punched you - you let me hit you?!! - and maybe I would have just stayed away. Or further again to when we were in LA and my mum was. The night before it happend, I was on the phone with her. She was trying to tell me something - I don't know, Louis was prancing around getting shirty because he wanted to go out and I ended up cutting her off. I didn't even tell her I loved her. What type of son does that?_

_What type of person am I?_

__________

Yer a wizard harreh!

ah, but I'm not :( :(

_everything feels so old here. the trees. the people. i visited that santa town today and i mean, its not christmas - not even close - but it felt. . . I don't know. All I could see was your crinkly eyed smile and the way you light up when your happy and it dropped me to my knees. Just how much I fucking miss you and I dont even. I hardly even think about him anymore. It's you. Just you._

_Maybe it always has been._

__________

Call him for me. Call him so he hears you and knows I'm okay.

Your the best, Gems. The best xx.

_It was getting too cold. Too much like home so I jumped a plane and well. Cuban cigars are fucking harsh. And the cars? If I could ship them all home I would. Niall would love the women here, all curves and smiles and happy with what they have. There's so much blue. Blue skies and blue seas and and._  
He'll never talk to me again, will he? I read this thing. This woman beside me had one of those gossip mags and it had something about him being in treatment and wow - the stuff they had to say about me was awful but they had a photo of you both and - did I do that? I sit here with my skin all toasty brown and the sun is so warm and I can't take my shirt off in case. . . but you both look. You look awful and.

_I should come back. I should never have left._

_I'm still too much of a coward though. Not yet. I still need time_

__________

Tell Robin I smoked a big fat cigar for him. Don't tell mum though. Tell her I'm trying.

H xx.

_it doesn't hurt thinking about either of you anymore. I think I get it. I think I understand what you meant._

_I think I know._

__________

remember that time Louis was trying to teach me how to do that cross kick thing of his in the backyard, and we broke the window, and when Mum asked who did it, we blamed it on Dusty trying to catch a bird and the bird smashing the glass? 

I think she knew all along.

The crowds here at the matches are mad. MAD! Harry x.

_it hit me today. Hit me that your all I want. You're the one I wake up thinking of. The one that I turn to tell a joke and hurt when you're not there to laugh. You're the one I want to tell things. All sorts of things. Everything._

_I can't. I can't wait anymore._

_Maybe you have. Maybe you haven't. Maybe you won't even want to look at me._

_I won't stop though. I won't give up._

_I'm coming home, Li. I'm coming home. x_

__________

The great thing about being in Australia means I won't lose another day coming home.

I'm done with living in tomorrows. Harry xx


End file.
